Walking the tightrope

Walking the Tightrope: Taking Care of Oneself
by Marg Rodrigues

Being a family child care provider is very rewarding. It is a joy to be able to work from home, set your day's agenda and work hours that are suitable, plus meet the needs of your own family and to work with children and their families providing an important community service. However, the work is very demanding. I remember giving a workshop on balancing family and work. I gave each of the participants a list of over fifty different and varied occupations and participants circled duties that they performed during their day. For example, housekeeper, nurse, music instructor, teacher, nutritionist and so on. The participants added even more ideas to an already long list. Sometimes we do walk a tightrope trying to meet everyone's needs.

Often family child care providers work selflessly, always giving, not only to the children they care for, but to their own children, their families, their communities and their significant others. I suggest that it is all right to be selfish. Wow! I said it! This simply means you must take care of yourself.

Eat properly. Snacking while preparing the meals for the children is not eating properly. Sit down and eat with the children. They will enjoy your company and learn from your modelling.

Get enough exercise. We may run up and down stairs all day, chase after children, play ball, and pretend we are kitty cats and chickens, but this is not the only kind of exercise we need. Take some time out of your busy schedule to go for a long brisk walk (try at least 3 times a week). You may be tired, but you will feel refreshed and rejuvenated when you return.

Rest. What can I say about rest? We are adults; we know we need 8-10 hours sleep a night. As many mothers know, our sleep patterns change after having children. Infants wake several times in the night, preschoolers have bad dreams, and all children succumb to fever and flu, usually during the night. Teenagers stay out late. We must learn to adapt to our family’s changes and find ways to rest during the day. If the children in your care are resting, sit down and read a book or magazine; have a cup of tea. Leave the tidying up until later; it will be there after you have had your rest.

Share chores. We have a few other options while trying to balance our work and family life. You are a part of a family, a team. It is not up to you to do everything. The children, parents, partners, other adults living with you can use their skills to cut down on daily, weekly and monthly chores. Encourage everyone to pitch in to do the vacuuming, set and clear the table, wash up after meals, do laundry and so on. I'm sure you get the picture! Speaking from experience, sometimes we just have to ask. Another option is to hire someone else to do your cleaning – this can help elevate that feeling of never being able to stay on top of the housework.

Alternate caregiver. Many caregivers hire a substitute caregiver on a regular basis. This alleviates some of the stress of working all day, all week, alone. This can be on a day that allows you to have a longer weekend, or it can be in the middle of the week to give you break from a long five days. As the primary caregiver, it is your responsibility to ensure that your alternate has all the requirements demanded by your licensing body – first aid, criminal record check, training etc.

Discuss with your clients/parents the benefits of having an alternate: in case of accidents or illness, for appointments you have during regular working hours. It also allows you to attend your own children’s events when they reach school-age. I personally have made the choice to have an alternate with me every Friday. We go on bigger outings together and I use this time to volunteer in and for my community. Several other caregivers share this alternate so she has full time work.

Support groups. The last thing I would like to talk about is belonging to caregiver support groups. These groups are very valuable. They take away feelings of isolation, they offer support and encourage you to learn more about the profession you have chosen. Other child care providers will be genuinely interested in your day. You may find someone in a child care support group to be your phone buddy, someone you can call when you need advice or a friendly voice.

In order to provide quality child care services to children and their families, you must take care to stay in excellent health. This will ensure you have enough energy to “tote” infants, chase two-year-olds, and cope with the emotional ups and downs of school-age children.

Marg Rodrigues is president of the Canadian Child Care Federation. She operates Auntie’s Licensed Family Child Care in Delta, B.C., and works tirelessly to provide and promote quality child care.

Interaction, Vol. 16, No. 3, Fall 2002, p. 35-36.