When a Boy Dresses Up as a Girl

When a Boy Dresses Up as a Girl
by Monica Lytwyn

You are an early childhood educator at a local centre. Your children love many activities at the centre, but dress up clothes seems to be the favourite of the group. One afternoon, in the dramatic play area the children are participating as usual, and one boy is dressed in a feather boa, high heels and a tiara. His mother arrives as he is proudly modeling his outfit. The child's mother looks disapprovingly at you and tells her son to get undressed, as it is time to go. You ask if there is a problem. As mother and child walk out the door, mom says to you, "He is a little boy you know!"

What do you do?
The above example is an ethical dilemma because two or more values (or principles) are competing with one another. For some, this dilemma will be an ethical one; for others it will not. We all have different values and beliefs that determine whether or not a dilemma is an ethical one. Some of us will agree and some of us will not. What is important to remember is that this is okay. Every ethical dilemma is a personal experience, but what makes a dilemma an ethical one is when more than one value is in conflict with another.

We all face ethical dilemmas in our lives every day. Sometimes we realize when it occurs and sometimes we do not. Regardless of whether or not we know we have encountered an ethical dilemma, it is important to have a process to follow to make our best choice. Review the principles of the Code of Ethics.

Firstly, ask yourself: What are my initial reactions? What are my values and beliefs? Then ask: Which principles are in conflict? Are there principles that are in conflict with themselves? If so, how? Which principles do I feel are more important? Who are the stakeholders? What are the potential consequences to each stakeholder? Is there a way for this dilemma to be resolved? After this long question and answer period finally ask, have I made the best choice for me?

It is easy to jump ahead and make a decision before working through an ethical dilemma. It is also easy to "sit on the fence" and just do nothing. Though it is important to note that these are in fact possible decisions that can be made, without working through the above process, you will not know whether these possible decisions are the best choice for you at this time.

You may feel that number two is in conflict with number four. You want this child to participate fully in dramatic play, but you also want to work with the parent. Since the parent does not want this child to participate in dramatic play that involves feather boas and high heels, and you may feel that the child should be able to engage in this play, you then have an ethical dilemma.

You may also feel that number six is in conflict with itself because you want to enhance human dignity in a cooperative way for the child and for the parent. If you cooperate with the parent, you cannot cooperate with the child and vice versa. This puts you in an ethical dilemma once again.

It is possible to agree with both of the above statements about which principles are in conflict. It is also possible to disagree with any of the statements and have your own beliefs on which principles are in conflict. You may also feel that there are no principles in conflict in which case there would be no ethical dilemma.

Try it out. Compare your initial reaction to your best choice. Are they the same? Are they different? Talk to your peers at work and outside of work. After going through this process to find your best choice, it will become easier and faster to make further ethical decisions. You will also feel satisfied that you have made the best choice for you at the right time.

Monica Lytwyn is the chairperson of the Manitoba Child Care Association's Ethics Committee.

Interaction, Vol. 15, No. 3, Fall 2001, p. 10